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Sloghmaghoiddeiannn
Born:
1366
Died:
1423
Cause of death:
Assassination
Nationality:
Scotland
Species:
Couch
Occupation:
Warrior
Spouse(s):
1 (shopkeeper, identity unknown)
Children:
3 (two sons, one daughter)


Sloghmaghoiddeiannn (hear pronunciation) (1366 - 1423) was a Scottish warrior.[1] He was a couch, and had a beard. He was a renowned swordsman[2] and is said to have been feared by enemy forces.[3] He fought in numerous battles, and was key in many Scottish victories against England.[4]

Early Life Edit

Sloghmaghoiddeiannn was raised in Glasgow, Scotland by a Blacksmith father and a barmaid mother.[5] Though strictly speaking he was not technically an assassin himself, Sloghmaghoiddeiannn is believed to have trained under the Kilgheahranian Assassin Guild as a teenager, quickly gaining favour amongst his mentors.[6]

Life as a Warrior Edit

Tough, fearsome, and ruthless; Sloghmaghoiddeiannn was a genius on the battlefield.[7] It is said that he single-handedly killed an entire legion of English soldiers on at least one occasion;[8] and that he masterminded many moonings during battle.

Death Edit

Though it cannot be known for certain, there is strong evidence to suggest that Sloghmaghoiddeiannn was assassinated by MI6.[9]

Legacy Edit

In the wake of his death, Sloghmaghoiddeiannn was mourned throughout the Scottish Kingdom.[10] He was survived by 3 children, two sons and one daughter; and had a profound influence on many Scottish warriors. His wife, a shopkeeper who's identity is unknown, died several years prior to Sloghmaghoiddeiannn, an event which is believed to have motivated Sloghmaghoiddeiannn in battle thereafter.

Personality Edit

Intelligent, wise, and at times rowdy; Sloghmaghoiddeiannn was a heavy drinker[11] and enjoyed playing darts. When not on the battlefield, Sloghmaghoiddeiannn frequented local pubs and taverns, occasionally trying his hand at karaoke. His aggressive and forceful nature did not prevent him from being widely liked by the community, on the contrary, he was championed throughout Scotland.[12] He was also an avid fan of Top Gear.[13]

In Popular Culture Edit

Sloghmaghoiddeiannn has remained part of Scottish popular culture to this day, and is often celebrated during Scotland's many festivals all year round.[14]

The character of William Wallace in Braveheart is believed to be loosely based on Sloghmaghoiddeiannn[15]

Sources Edit

  • Oxford Dictionary of Scottish Warriors
  • Scotland for Dummies
  • Hansen & Johns Encyclopedia of Scottish Warfare

References Edit

  1. http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2010/01/18/2794346.htm
  2. http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2009/12/30/2782480.htm
  3. http://www.visitscotland.com/
  4. http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2009/12/30/2782480.htm
  5. http://www.scotland.org/about/history-tradition-and-roots/features/culture/auld-lang-syne.html
  6. http://www.scotland.org/about/history-tradition-and-roots/roots/index.html
  7. http://www.historyandlegends.com/robert-the-bruce-scotlands-warrior-king.html
  8. http://www.historyandlegends.com/scotland-scottish-witches-wizards-fairies-faeries.html
  9. http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2009/09/12/2683892.htm
  10. http://www.historyandlegends.com/scotland-scottish-witches-wizards-fairies-faeries.html
  11. http://www.historyandlegends.com/Duncan_Matheson_The_Scottish_Evangelist/contents.html
  12. http://www.visitscotland.com/guide/
  13. http://www.historyandlegends.com/ScottishHeraldry.html
  14. http://www.historyandlegends.com/computer-programmers-keep-history-alive.html
  15. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0112573/


External links Edit

Harvey Norman, a place where you can purchase couches that may or may not resemble Sloghmaghoiddeiannn.

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